Part three

Hey buddy boo,

I hope you are adjusting to not being with us better then we are coping, i thought today was going ok, i really missed you but i only felt sad today and not upset.

I cant bear to get rid of you teddies and in my mind i imagine you still curling up with them, i put them at one end of the dog bed out of jaspers way but when i looked down he was laying with his head and paw on one looking upset.

I thought it must of just been by accident so i moved your teddy away but when i woke up again he was layed like it again, i think jasper is showing he has a soft heart. In the ten years we have had your brother not once has he ever wanted a teddy i think he just wants his borther as we all do.

That was untill i changed the kitchen roll tube and went to use it as a horn to make you come and get it to tear up as a treat, i took it off and thought bud would like this and then burst into tears, i dont think i will ever be immune from hurting from the little things for half a second i am not sad then i remember and its such a horrid shock.

I got worried last night when your dad came in from walking jasp, he had tears streaming down his face, when i asked him why he replied that jasp didnt know what to do on his walk he just kept looking around for you.

Was you there?

Could you perhaps just join him for the walks so he's not so alone? i do wonder.

So we set off for the evening walk i promised your dad i wouldnt make him walk alone so we both had company and jasp ran and found a large tree branch, he kept looking for you to take the other end once again bud i was in tears, if time is ment to be a healer then please let me sleep for a year as thats how long my heart needs to heal and the glue to dry.

Have a good nights sleep baby love you.

Miss you

Want you back home

x x x <3